it does not matter if it is mid-afternoon.

You are liable to hit, like tachyons going past through anything. Right now I am being bombarded by you and for respite, I can only close my eyes for a moment then remember to breath, deep. If i am not careful, I'll break again and it might take the better part of a day before I can think straight, think straight in the way that normal reality moves.

And in the meantime i am caged again, but I cannot see the bars nor do I care when most of the time I do not even notice, and i can only stay in this state of mind, that for lack of a word, I'l call happiness; but only as a matter of preference.

Reality does not work like the reality that i have in my mind. I can only hope it does. i dare not watch any movie at this time or read any book, or even read what I have written before because they will all eventually lead to you. Like gravity, relentless and .just there.

I miss you. I cannot say that enough, I cannot feel that enough; the same way how I feel about you is constant.

keeper of my heart, queen of my mind.

and all the cliches come true, they come true and I turn to liquid as I hear them repeat themselves over and over again.

and it happens again.

I need to be away from everything, for this time. For just some hours and some odd minutes. For some time, for a chance to while away forever, or otherwise I'll be stillborn and vacant, watching the stars and think only of drifting away inside my mind.

It is of an impending implosion inside me, of melting, of something inside starting to claw its way out along with the promise of immolation for this progression, but without the assurance of ever coming back as myself. If only I can call myself sad, then it would be an easier ordeal. Temporary and just a prolonged state of mind, a reverse amphetamine that will only last for some time.

There are a lot of things I miss, that I long for, or wish for; fervently enough that it I cannot mistake reality for what it really is, so I have a lot of daydreams, enough to compensate and to keep my imagination alive. I go overboard sometimes that there are mornings when I cannot remember my dreams.

This has to be done in the coming days, the sense of urgency is stronger now and there is a fear losing something if I cannot find a way to burn.

And because of the impossibility of being in your arms, the ocean is the only place I can think of where I can be.